That Time Again
I suppose it is that time again, when I should be posting of weekends and swinging out the library. And indeed, swing I will, in fact I was meant to be getting there by 11:30, but 11:45 will have to suffice. Making this a short post. Sorry. And I will admit that I have been wasting my morning on thefacebook. That's right, I'm a sorry excuse for a human being. Deal with it.
I spent yesterday at the library, not nearly all day, but enough that I felt justified in going out last night. Who am I kidding, I generally justify some way or another. Not the point. Wow, I'm scattered today.
Okay, Friday went really well, despite my not getting anything accomplished. What did I do Friday? I can't even recall. Strange. Oh yes, I tried to go to the library... or... no... wait... holy hell. Must have brained my damage. Yes. There it is. Had an unsuccessful journey into the bowels of the Bod, down into the sub-basement where they keep official papers, and out again into the light. I am avoiding a second confrontation with those long rows of shelves and flickering lights (no joke!). Made dinner for my ladies, always a pleasure. We decided on a quiet night, none of us feeling the party (and no party to feel!!) so we met up with one of my program friends and my undecided relationship.
So the girls, well he is hard to read, and I suppose when juxstaposed with our resident couple, it is almost impossible to get a feeling for a non-relationship. But they did their best, and approved what they could get, and I really appreciated that, thinking things were probably going well. But then there was some oddities, and I managed to put my foot in my mouth, and even though it seems to have sorted, I find myself this morning wondering why I tried so damn hard. Why I'm still trying so damn hard. Suddenly it all drained out of me and I don't seem to care. Games my foot. I wasn't playing games, but don't want to settle, and he is a catch, but why can't I see that? Wanting what I can't have, when I have it I don't want it anymore. This is all too much, and to be honest if he ended it I would probably feel relieved. But upset, and want him again.
Being a bit mental right now, and needing to eat something substantial before I get to work, I have to sign this train of non-thought off about now. Library. Woot.
I spent yesterday at the library, not nearly all day, but enough that I felt justified in going out last night. Who am I kidding, I generally justify some way or another. Not the point. Wow, I'm scattered today.
Okay, Friday went really well, despite my not getting anything accomplished. What did I do Friday? I can't even recall. Strange. Oh yes, I tried to go to the library... or... no... wait... holy hell. Must have brained my damage. Yes. There it is. Had an unsuccessful journey into the bowels of the Bod, down into the sub-basement where they keep official papers, and out again into the light. I am avoiding a second confrontation with those long rows of shelves and flickering lights (no joke!). Made dinner for my ladies, always a pleasure. We decided on a quiet night, none of us feeling the party (and no party to feel!!) so we met up with one of my program friends and my undecided relationship.
So the girls, well he is hard to read, and I suppose when juxstaposed with our resident couple, it is almost impossible to get a feeling for a non-relationship. But they did their best, and approved what they could get, and I really appreciated that, thinking things were probably going well. But then there was some oddities, and I managed to put my foot in my mouth, and even though it seems to have sorted, I find myself this morning wondering why I tried so damn hard. Why I'm still trying so damn hard. Suddenly it all drained out of me and I don't seem to care. Games my foot. I wasn't playing games, but don't want to settle, and he is a catch, but why can't I see that? Wanting what I can't have, when I have it I don't want it anymore. This is all too much, and to be honest if he ended it I would probably feel relieved. But upset, and want him again.
Being a bit mental right now, and needing to eat something substantial before I get to work, I have to sign this train of non-thought off about now. Library. Woot.
posted by Care | 10:58 AM
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