That moment
That moment when a smile crept across my lips this morning. When I realize that for a moment last night I let down my guard. When I suddenly missed him for no apparent reason. When I swallowed that little pink pill of emotion. New music shifting through my tinny speakers and I pick out lines that tell me what I feel.
"I have to try so hard not to fall in love, I have to concentrate when we kiss says."
And I know that as soon as I step off the train from Paris this Sunday I will be calling him, and as soon as I arrive I will be swept into his arms. DPG said that maybe this time I was lucky. Through a conversation, P is for Psycho, Russian stereotypes, a run-through of all our respective disasters over the past six months, and all I could think was how careful I had to be.
"You realize that me liking you is tantamount to me getting hurt..."
And he made a joke, as he does, and I thanked him silently for that.
Right now I pack half-heartedly and wish I didn't have to leave for Paris tomorrow so damn early. This weekend was insane, with visitors and May Morning shit-fits. Involving myself in other people's lives has never been so difficult or so easy. And as we slipped into the quad at Magdalen college just after dawn, light rain melting my drunken steps into the grass, he pulled me close and we stood that way together, silent, as the clock struck six and voices from above welcomed the absent spring. Beautiful.
"I'm going to miss you this weekend"
"I'm going to miss you too."
Did you just say that because I said it? There is no way to tell. Four days away from Oxford can easily seem like an eternity. And speaking of, it takes me an eternity to get ready these days, so off I go to shower.
"I have to try so hard not to fall in love, I have to concentrate when we kiss says."
And I know that as soon as I step off the train from Paris this Sunday I will be calling him, and as soon as I arrive I will be swept into his arms. DPG said that maybe this time I was lucky. Through a conversation, P is for Psycho, Russian stereotypes, a run-through of all our respective disasters over the past six months, and all I could think was how careful I had to be.
"You realize that me liking you is tantamount to me getting hurt..."
And he made a joke, as he does, and I thanked him silently for that.
Right now I pack half-heartedly and wish I didn't have to leave for Paris tomorrow so damn early. This weekend was insane, with visitors and May Morning shit-fits. Involving myself in other people's lives has never been so difficult or so easy. And as we slipped into the quad at Magdalen college just after dawn, light rain melting my drunken steps into the grass, he pulled me close and we stood that way together, silent, as the clock struck six and voices from above welcomed the absent spring. Beautiful.
"I'm going to miss you this weekend"
"I'm going to miss you too."
Did you just say that because I said it? There is no way to tell. Four days away from Oxford can easily seem like an eternity. And speaking of, it takes me an eternity to get ready these days, so off I go to shower.
posted by Care | 3:15 PM
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