Newbies?

Yesterday afternoon I was sitting on the bus and half-asleep, zoned out through the condensation on the window and trying to ignore the ice-blocks that were once my feet. A memory came back to me. And this is nothing new, but suddenly I recalled telling someone 'dreamingspire'. Oops. One thing I have tried to do is keep this from the people here. Unlike onemoreyear, which I gladly shared with my McGilligan friends, to share this one has seemed a bit inappropriate. I can't quite explain why. Now I can't remember who I had this conversation with, and wracking my brains to no avail, I am reduced to asking: who's new around here? C'mon, leave a comment, just let me know when I told you... seriously, the only reason I keep this is so I can remember what happened last week... I am pretty sure that was the context in which it came up anyways. Ugh.

Our game was amazing yesterday, another decisive victory, but not without a price. When I woke up this morning I was in worse shape than I've been since I hurt myself, so I had to take pain pills just to function out of bed. Its going to be a long day. Somehow I want to have an essay topic by this evening. because the rest of the week is looking more and more like an academic wash. On the agenda are two events which require heels, and I'm quite excited about the prospect of this, looking pretty and all. So today I have a mission involving a strapless bra (stuck in somewhere around my essay-topic mission of course) and tonight I feel like I should sleep. Finally the madness has caught up to me, and I'm feeling really worn. Run-down, but the light is shining, and somehow that makes it all okay. I've got hilarious 80s morning-music and a list of books. Gorgeous. Now if only my professors would get back to me about my topics I would be set.

Suddenly this song comes on that I haven't heard in what feels like years. I'm feeling it, so here are lyrics transcribed for my recollecting pleasure. Suffer through them if you will, its worth checking out. The first time I heard it perhaps influences my feelings about the song though, sitting in the first room that was truly mine, dark outside, and him holding my guitar. The first time I had coaxed him into playing for me, and words pouring out over the space between us. It is one of a handful of songs that always brings him back to me in the best of ways.

I can'’t be losing sleep over this, no I can'’t
And now I can not stop pacing
Give me a few hours, I'll have this all sorted out
If my mind would just stop racing

Cause I cannot stand still
I can'’t be this unsturdy
This cannot be happening

This is over my head but underneath my feet
Cause by tomorrow morning
I'’ll have this thing beat
And everything will be back to the way that it was
I wish that it was just that easy

Cause I'm waiting for tonight
Then waiting for tomorrow
And I'm somewhere in between
What is real, and just a dream

Would you catch me if I fall out of what I fell in
Don'’t be surprised if I collapse down at your feet again
I don't want to run away from this
I know that I just don'’t need this

Cause I cannot stand still
I can'’t be this unsturdy
This cannot be happening

Cause I'’m waiting for tonight
Then waiting for tomorrow
And I'm somewhere in between
What is real, and just a dream

- Lifehouse, Somewhere in Between