Should be posting but...

...but honestly I just wrote an epic email to my good friend Jonah in response to his lovely epic email brought on by rain in DC. And I'm typed out. And that's too bad, but I promise that I'll update tomorrow, likely in a mental moment, as tonight is Sport Fed Ball and I'm sure I'll have something to say (although after yesterday...) anyways, some poetic reflection perhaps.

I actually did get choked up when I was writing back to Jo, another related reason that I can't write at the moment, because I would just reminisce about things. Today I recovered, took a nap and tried to coax my body into a few more days. The sky is hanging low over Oxford, heavy with rain, and the full wind is bringing me back to days at home, buffetted by air through tunnels of buildings on my way through town. I'm getting lovingly reacquainted with The Shins, having put them aside for a while, not really knowing why. Have had it on repeat for so long that they have come to mean these strange non-hours, typing away at home in pjs, my feet cold but too lazy to put on socks, knowing full well that I will have to take them off again sometime soon.

And so 8th closed today, with our last classes of the term, and I finally felt something coming together, not to help with my still uncertain essays, but higher than that. Enough to make things seem more sensical, that somewhere at the centre of this whirlwind life there is an answer, some sort of end point that we are all traveling towards, parallel to each other through the rainy streeets of Oxford, bent heads into the wind and coats pulled tight against the rain, I watch them go, and go with them.

A cold and wet November dawn
And there are no barking sparrows
Just emptiness to dwell upon.

I fell into a winter slide
And ended up the kind of kid who goes down chutes too narrow
Just eking out my measly pies.

But I learned fast how to keep my head up 'cause I
Know there is this side of me that
Wants to grab the yoke from the pilot and just
Fly the whole mess into the sea.

Another slow train to the coast
Some brand new gory art from way on high
I sink and then I swim all night.

I watch the ice melt on the glass
While the eloquent young pilgrims pass
And leave behind their trail
Imploring us not to fail.

Of course I was raised to gather courage from those
Lofty tales so tried and true and
If you're able I'd suggest it 'cause this
Modern thought can get the best of you.

This rather simple epitaph can save your hide your falling mind
Fate isn't what we're up against there's no design no flaws to find
There's no design no flaws to find.

But I learned fast how to keep my head up 'cause I
Know I got this side of me that
Wants to grab the yoke from the pilot and just
Fly the whole mess into the sea.

- The Shins, Young Pilgrims